Mercury planet

The adorable planet, shame on you sun for bullying him.

This article refers to the pretty planet, not the shiny metallic liquid you definitely should not drink

Mercury is the planet nearest The Sun and the one most subject to its bullying heat and abuse from solar flares.


Mercury was invented by The Sun 4.5 billion years ago, or something like that when the sun was just a n00b in the universe, Alpha Centauri was laughing at the sun because he wasn't like the cool stars that had planets, so falling to peer pressure the sun invented the planets, mercury was the first and smallest of these.


When Mercury was just a yound lad (roughly 500,000 years old) The Sun began slapping him across the face with solar flares as a result Mercury suffered sever burns to 100% of his body.

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